Husband, Father, Athlete, Runner, Marathoner, Mental Health Warrior

Damary here: wife of Corey…..just needed to get some stuff off my chest…. I never realized how common having a miscarriage was, until it happened to me and so many people reached out to share their story. So I am having some trouble with “moving on” part people are suppose to do after something bad happens. I do not know if it is because I am putting too much pressure on myself and feel I should be a certain way and I am not there, not even close. It has been about a month since I had the miscarriage and I am still as sad (actually I think sadder) as I was when I found out it was happening. I still find myself crying at the most random moments, especially when I am alone. And worst of all I keep having the worst dreams. I fear that I am damaged and will not be able to have a third child. Than I just feel guilty and like an idiot for saying or thinking that, because I have been blessed with two successful pregnancies and daughters. There are people out there who will never have that… I

So I haven’t blogged in a while because it is hard to talk about things that leave you so raw and exposed. Maybe it is just me…it wouldn’t be the first time. My wife talked about 3Bird, and I don’t think there is much more for me to say… So the 17th is my 38th Birthday! Wow, 38….believe me, I know of at least 5 times in my life where this day was NOT guaranteed, at all. I can’t believe I have made it this far. I have a KEY rule for myself, on my birthday. Take a quiet, alone, few minutes and reflect on how my life has changed over the past 365 days. I hold myself to one rule: I should be in a better place than I was on my last birthday. Simple. I spend every morning reminding myself of that rule, knowing a birthday is coming. I firmly believe life is meant to be lived, not to just exist in. Every year, I should be improving something about myself. Hence why I say, “Keep it pushin…” Wow, what a year it has been. To say ANYTHING has been stagnant in my life would be a bold-faced lie. My