My brain hates me...


Hello my peoples....

       So if you are someone who has visited my blog before, your eyes do not deceive you, the title and style has changed. If you are new to my blog, thank you for stopping by.

       The past year and a half has tried my soul. Memorial Day last year, I came within hours of losing my leg due to a staph infection; then a serious chest infection in the summer of last year; then on September 27th, 2014, I had a stress induced heart attack; then 2 weeks later, I had shoulder surgery on my right shoulder; then I had shoulder surgery on my left shoulder 5 weeks ago. I have been through a lot and discovered myself in the process.

      One of the things I discovered is that my brain is not wired like everyone else's. I realize that in my life, I am not able to stay happy with myself for long, and when I am depressed, it is life ending thoughts. I also realized I don't think I know how to feel emotions, because of all of the crap that happened to me as a child/growing up, I had 2 choices. Suppress everything and survive or let myself feel and be overwhelmed with despair. So I choose the former to survive.

      Now as a grown man, husband, father, athlete, marathoner, I am realizing that I need help. I have an appointment next week to see a psychiatrist. I have been doing some research, and I think I maybe bipolar. One of the reasons I changed my blog is the fact when I tried looking around for other husbands, fathers or marathon runners that handle bipolar or manic depression, I found none. Surely, I can't be the only one, so I started this because maybe someone else out there is going through this and this can be a forum that we can discuss things in a non-judgment free zone.

     So more will come as this journey starts for me....

Make it count...

Corey

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