My Partner My Anxiety Let’s have a frank and honest discussion about my anxiety. I am on the blood pressure medications, not because of the top number in my BP readings (the systolic), which usually is a factor of things like activity and food; but because of the bottom number (the diastolic), which is your heart at rest. Which due to being an adult survivor of child abuse, my heart doesn’t understand being in a safe place, so it always runs as if my flight or fight mechanism has to ALWAYS be ready. I bring this up, because I want to describe how every morning is for me, as soon as I open my eyes. I feel like I have been given a blank piece of 8 ½ x 11 paper. As soon as I wake up, I must write out the declaration of independence, the Quran, the Old Testament, the bylaws of my college fraternity and every single example of abuse that happened to me on this paper, by heart, word for word. If I mess one thing up, then I am a worthless husband to my wife and father to our amazi
