My 1st Psychiatry Appointment was Yesterday

Hello True Believers,

       Well yesterday was my first psychiatrist appointment....and it was AWESOME! She was someone who actually seem to care about helping me and not like any psychologist I have seen before, where they get so caught up in what has happened to me instead of the person I am now, dealing with it.

        Well after we talked, she even told me about herself and her credentials and how she really likes helping people. She also stopped me from calling myself broken and/or damaged.

       So I go back to see her in 2 weeks, and she asked me to research EMDR and if I would be open to starting that. I have to admit, I am very open to trying it. To be able to recall painful memories WITHOUT having to relive the pain first and foremost, like it is happening to me right now, would be a WONDERFUL change. I also go back next week to meet with the MD to discuss medicine as well.

      Overall, I am diagnosed with being Bipolar with PTSD....yup, my childhood is my trauma, the heart attack last year is trauma, etc. That is big to hear. Plus, she did a good job in reinforcing how that it is NEVER a child's fault for bad parenting. Which I have always been told bad parenting WAS my fault.

      I left feeling better, no, that isn't right. I left having HOPE. Hope that I know I have a hard road ahead, but I will start loving myself 24/7 instead of the few times I am riding mania. I do know one of the things about EMDR is that during the actual treatments, I will have to visit those memories and "peel the band-aid off" and deal with those feelings in a raw way, to get to the point where I don't live that pain again. I know that will be hell, but I also know success is on the other side.

      Thank you all for your time in reading the random thoughts from my mind. If my journey can help anyone, or at least pose as a cautionary tale for anyone, please share this blog with them. Also, if you ahve any questions, please ask, I am an open, raw book.

I Celebrate the Light and Blessings In You All,
-Corey

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