My Wife, My Inspiration

So my wife isn’t perfect, but here’s a surprise, who walking this earth is? But every single coach in any sport I have had, and my Father, my personal hero, has reiterated one thing in my head in all of my 37 years. Showing up to the game is 90% of the battle. Think about it, most people fail not, in the middle of some hero is effort. They fail because they out THINK themselves out of even trying!! Not my wife.

Damary will be the first to tell you that she isn’t the most optimistic person in the world. But when it comes to teaching the girls, she never blinks at encouraging them. She never discourages the girls from believing that they can do whatever they want to. If the girls (as kids so often do) get down and say they can’t do it, she encourages them to always try first.

If I am the leader of the household, then she EASILY is the heart and soul of our household. If our family were a basketball team, I am the head coach, but Damary is the player that is the inspirational leader of the team. Without that inspirational leader, I’m just a guy calling plays with X’s and O’s. She is the one who can make the adjustments based on what she sees and can encourage the team to elevate their efforts. There are a lot of great coaches in the NBA, but Phil Jackson needed a Michael Jordan in Chicago, and a Kobe Bryant in LA to amass those 10 Championship rings. He’ll be the first one to tell you that too.

My wife and I often hear how great our marriage is. We tend to scoff at it, not because we don’t have a great marriage, but because people say that to us like we just lucked into it. We have worked hard to get here.

My wife LOVES our daughters. I know to most people that isn’t some huge epiphany. But let’s be honest, we all know some parents who could take some patience, and guidance classes.

Damary makes a point of being a shining light in the girls’ lives. Our girls are only 5 & 3, and Damary treats them with thoughts of the bigger picture in mind. Meaning, she knows those dreaded teenage years are coming, and she wants the girls to always know that Mami will be there to listen, even if they just want to vent. It’s hard enough being a teenager (as we all can attest to) without feeling like you have no one in the world, no anchor in your heart. I love the fact Damary is seeing that and thinks about that when she is dealing with them.

Damary recognizes her short-comings (most of the time), and tries to work on them, and leans on me at the same time. Instead of just taking the mentality of “Oh, I’ll fix it later”. She realizes later is TOO late. She realizes the girls need to see that now, so later’s doorway isn’t closed.

Damary decided to go back to school a couple of months ago (by the way, SHOUT OUT to her for maintaining a 3.8 GPA!!). One of the reasons she stated for doing it, was so she could be a role model in showing the girls that if you put your mind to it, NO obstacle stands a chance in your path.

Sometimes, ok most of the time, I don’t think my wife gives herself enough credit. Real Talk: I don’t GIVE her credit enough times either. I am not above admitting my faults. But at night, when I am saying my prayers, after everyone is asleep, and I am thanking God for ALL that he has blessed me with; the first name out of my mouth is Damary. As well as the first name I say when I am asking God to watch over people, is Damary.

She loves me for all of my faults. She forgives me when I don’t forgive myself. She shows the girls that life is full of possibilities. She is quick to just let the girls be kids, while teaching them the foundation of how to be adults. She shows them how to love, by loving them so much. She shows them how to smile, by smiling at them so much. I take NONE of that for granted, and do not have an ego about Damary’s importance in the girls’ life. Yes, I will be the one who teaches them how to drive, or the rules to football, but PLEASE BELIEVE Damary, my wife (have you guessed I LOVE saying that??) will be the backbone of the building blocks of the success and happiness they experience in their lives.

Sometimes, as parents, we forget just that. The “WE” part of that. For those of you that are single parents, double kudos to you. For being Mommy and Daddy. I just wanted to take a public opportunity to say Thank You to Damary, because you always try and that alone means you are succeeding, everyday.

-Until the Wheels Fall Off


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