Nothing like Getting Gut-Punched When You Have Your Guard Down

*Sigh* I had my physical therapy (PT) yesterday, as usual. I get treated by two people who alternate. Well, my physical therapist yesterday, as usual, asked me, first thing, if I had been good (apparently I have a MINOR reputation of being stubborn….0k, stop smiling,, moving on, nothing to see here). Then she said, she heard that I am looking to do a marathon in May. I told her, yes, May is 9 months from now. She said, while she thinks my determination and dedication are admirable, she doesn’t think I will be ready.

She thinks if the marathon is in 9 months, I would need to start fully training now (because I guess what I had been doing since April, to prepare for Nov/Dec marathons was absolutely nothing – logging 25-40 miles a week), and I won’t be ready for it. I am not sure if she means I, as a person will not be able to handle it, or I, as in my injuries (Plantar Faciitis and Hell Fracture) won’t be up to the strain. BUT THAT’S NINE MONTHS AWAY?!?!?! So in one silent swoop, she has done what NO ONE else has done since I started running this past April. She injected doubt. Doubt in myself, doubt in my abilities.

Now understand, I am NO stranger to doubt. I have a LIFETIME laundry list of doubting myself. And an even longer list of people who doubted/still doubt me. But this, this one thing, I was solid on. No nay-sayers, or lazy people who have called me crazy, has bothered me. It has always rolled off my forehead like the gallons of sweat I have committed since I started running. I think those negative people didn’t get me down because I understood most of those comments didn’t come from me trying to improve myself, they came from people realizing they weren’t improving THEMSELVES!

So yesterday’s PT appointment has haunted me. Am I rushing it? Am I going to be in the middle of the Flying Pig Marathon and have my body fail me? Even worse, mentally will I quit? Why am I even bothering to run? Why do I try to be better than I am? These are just a small percentage of the questions in my head right now.

Plus it doesn’t help that I look down and see this boot, and am still in pain. The only good thing is I am still getting my cardio on the bike (60 miles this week so far). Somehow I will get through this, but I have NO IDEA how, or even when…

-Maybe The Wheels Have Started To Fall Off…
-Corey

Comments

  1. LisaSeptember 3, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    Wow, that is quite alot to take in, for one day. Ok, so you are human and as humans, we do some doubting, even us positive people. I have learned as well as you have learned, no matter what path we are on, trying to achieve whatever goal it will be, there will always be that person, that thing, that so called obstacle where we say "hmmmm what am I doing". This is normal and happens to the best of us. You have one of the most positive mindsets Corey and although we have only met once and know each other because we are family through Damary. I read your empowering quotes and words daily and your mindset is so powerful and so positive that it will prevail over any obstacle in your way. Obviously, listen to your body and continue to rehabilitate, but never let anyone or any obstacle stand in the way of getting to where you want to be. If you believe it, it WILL happen, power of attraction, I believe in it so much. Focus on what the outcome is, rather than the how will I get there, because when you do that, everything falls into place. You stay strong, but listen to your body too, heal properly and you go get your marathon on......

    ReplyDelete
  2. Melissa CunninghamSeptember 3, 2010 at 1:57 PM

    Corey,i so agree with lisa here!!!! EVERYONE has doubts sometimes,especially when it comes to acheiveing a huge goal...."if you believe it, it WILL happen,power of attraction".... SO TRUE!!!

    Hang in there!!!!things will get better,your body will heal up (quicker than what you think but not as fast as you want)
    and you need to KEEP YOUR GOAL IN SIGHT!!!! (but still,listen to your body...)
    i predict a marathonin your near future,mister!!!!
    keep your head up,stay postive and just focus on what you cando NOW to prepare for may-get in cardio where you can via bike,try pool workouts when able (these will be GREAT for keeping your lungs in runningshape as wellas taking off impact from your joints/ligaments,etc)

    you got this!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Blah la Blah Blog LogSeptember 9, 2010 at 7:33 AM

    Why don't you just ask her if she doesn't think you will be ready because of the injury? If it can't withstand the amount of training the marathon requires.
    I don' think she is talking about you, or saying what you had accomplished was nothing. I think it is about the injury. So, you need specifics about the why. If the injury can withstand the training, in my non-professional opinion, believe you can do it. But, if the injury cannot, then that is a whole other story. That's when you ask her when your body can withstand the training. Get a month, there are marathons all over the place, you can find one.
    Hang in there Papi.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CoreySeptember 9, 2010 at 7:58 AM

    Lisa, Melissa, and Melodie....Thank you all sincerely from the bottom of my heart. And to answer your question, Melodie, yesterday when I talked with her, she says she isn't sure the injury would hold up for the 26.2 miles. I told her, I am crossing that finish line on May 1st, and she is welcomed to run it with me :)

    ReplyDelete

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