Husband, Father, Athlete, Runner, Marathoner, Mental Health Warrior

Hello True Believers,        I have my latest video blog up. I WARN YOU ALL NOW: this discusses some of my childhood abuses and traumas in some detail. Please watch, but PLEASE do not have pity on me. Thank you and have a most blessed day. Stay Good Y'all, -Corey

Hello True Believers!   Sorry I've been away for a couple of weeks, but I explain the few weeks it has been for me in the video blog. I am also included 2 pics I talk about in the video. KDF Marathon Race Ambassador Page My outfit and official time from the Wilderness Louisville 5K on my birthday (10/17/2015) Stay Good Y'all! -Corey

Hello True Believers!      Last week I had my 5th EMDR session, and it left me a little in a dark place. So I'm posting it now. It is relatively short, so enjoy.       Here is today's video blog discussing my therapy session this past Thursday. It discusses some new discoveries. Also, I want to warn you, it gets pretty graphic. I just want to give y'all a heads up! Much Love and Stay Good Y'all! -Corey

Hello True Believers,      Here is my latest video blog about my 4th EMDR session that was on Thursday. This was filmed last night (Friday). I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to leave comments if you like. Everyone have a blessed day. Tomorrow is my 1st Anniversary of my Stress-Induced Heart Attack, so I will be in a LOT of retrospective thinking. Stay Good Y'all, Corey

Hello True Believers!       Here is my latest video blog post talking about last weeks EMDR session and this weeks EMDR session and I also talk about some repressed memories that have surfaced again. Much Love, Corey the Warrior

Hello True Believers,      Having that Post-EMDR Feeling (which I explain in the video blog), I decided to video blog, instead of writing, because I could articulate better about the session and everything else. Please enjoy, and feel free to comment! Much Love Y'all, -Corey

Hello True Believers,     Due to the slight disorientation I'm still feeling from yesterday's EMDR session, I video blogged instead of writing. Please enjoy. One Step At A Time, Corey

Hello True Believers,       Well it has been a pretty good couple of weeks. The meds I am on are helping me. One, I'm ACTUALLY dreaming for the first time since I was a kid. The Seroquel truly helps me stay sleep and stops my mind from racing at night, which is part of dealing with my Bipolar and PTSD. The Lamictal helps to even out my days, with the Bipolar. Before, if I was having a good day and something bad happened, I let it ruin my entire day, and I would shut down and think the worst outcome. I have encountered some bad news in the middle of my day, and the medicine as well as the coping techniques I have learned, helped me get past it and still enjoy my day.       During my psychiatry appointment yesterday, my psychiatrist REALLY help me to feel better about who I am. She used some positive reinforcement for me to NOT think of myself in the words that most of my family has told me since I was born. She told me that I should see myself as a wonderful husband and Father.

Hello True Believers,      So I was waiting a week or so write, because so much has gone on and I wanted time to process all of what is happening. So last week, I met with the Medical Doctor at the office where my Psychiatrist is. She wanted to evaluate me for medication that I would need, based on my first appointment with my Psychiatrist. I will say. I left that appointment with the MD literally shaking, because I had to go back and talk about some of my traumatic childhood, and since I suffer from PTSD, that means I was mentally stuck reliving every bit of pain as thought I were going through it right there. It was hard, VERY HARD....and I say that being a 3 time Marathoner...I know difficult, and this was HARD.     After talking to me, she prescribed Lamictal and Sorequel . The Sorequel is a sleeping aid. It is to help me stay asleep and to stop being woken up, or the insomnia I get when I can't stop that inner voice from shutting down. Which is a HUGE problem for me. Also

Hello True Believers,        Well yesterday was my first psychiatrist appointment....and it was AWESOME! She was someone who actually seem to care about helping me and not like any psychologist I have seen before, where they get so caught up in what has happened to me instead of the person I am now, dealing with it.         Well after we talked, she even told me about herself and her credentials and how she really likes helping people. She also stopped me from calling myself broken and/or  damaged .        So I go back to see her in 2 weeks, and she asked me to research EMDR and if I would be open to starting that. I have to admit, I am very open to trying it. To be able to recall painful memories WITHOUT having to relive the pain first and foremost, like it is happening to me right now, would be a WONDERFUL change. I also go back next week to meet with the MD to discuss medicine as well.       Overall, I am diagnosed with being Bipolar with PTSD....yup, my childhood is my

Hello True Believers,           One of the hardest things about being bipolar that people don't understand is that you have feelings like everyone else walking the planet. The difference is, at some point, early in your life, you were made to feel that your feelings were not only not valid, but sharing them means punishment and rejection. That is why we go from being extremely happy to extremely shutting out the entire world, because we are so down, we don't want to share our feelings with anyone, because we're only going to be made to feel inferior for having feelings to begin with.            At a very young age, my mom told me that I was a mistake....to be honest, it is one of the first memories I have. I was only 4. She blamed me for ruining her life (it didn't take a math genius to do the math of my parents anniversary and my birthday and realize, albeit in the womb, but I was at the wedding). She also made it clear that being hurt or feeling anything in genera

Hello my peoples....        So if you are someone who has visited my blog before, your eyes do not deceive you, the title and style has changed. If you are new to my blog, thank you for stopping by.        The past year and a half has tried my soul. Memorial Day last year, I came within hours of losing my leg due to a staph infection; then a serious chest infection in the summer of last year; then on September 27th, 2014, I had a stress induced heart attack; then 2 weeks later, I had shoulder surgery on my right shoulder; then I had shoulder surgery on my left shoulder 5 weeks ago. I have been through a lot and discovered myself in the process.       One of the things I discovered is that my brain is not wired like everyone else's. I realize that in my life, I am not able to stay happy with myself for long, and when I am depressed, it is life ending thoughts. I also realized I don't think I know how to feel emotions, because of all of the crap that happened to me as a ch