Husband, Father, Athlete, Runner, Marathoner, Mental Health Warrior

So here we are, rounding out 2010, and 2011 looks to bring many wonderful new events to my life. I am most excited, and as some of those things inch closer, a tad frightened. So all day yesterday, I had a full blown migraine. I mean from the time I woke up, until when I woke up today. Between my head feeling like it was in a vice, combined with feeling like someone was stabbing the right temple with an ice pick, and that the girls wanted to play more Kinect games, oh, and add the nausea, it was a rough day yesterday. One psychological side effect of my migraines is self doubt. I suffer from low self-esteem anyway, but when I have a migraine, it is amplified exponentially. I was “lucky” enough to have an entire day of “that voice” (I have “affectionately” named “ Mr. Mxyzptlk ") So by the end of the night, last night, I was ready to call of my marathon training, forget doing the Triple Crown of Running , and told myself there was NO WAY I have an ounce of qualifications to do the K

Happy Birthday Dad, Well, today is what would have been/is (after 16 years, you think I could get that right) my Dad’s birthday. And as usual, I am sad. I thought I had it under control this year, but I don’t. I talk to him on my 4AM runs, and I know 3Bird went straight to Heaven so my Dad could have a Grandchild, but it hurts. It hurts because I feel like a liar… Every time someone compliments me on being a man, or tells me that I am a good Father, or a good Husband, I feel like a fraud. Because I am a pale comparison of him in all of those areas. I always feel like I am supposed to apologize for not being as good as him in everything. I feel like I owe the girls so much, in my lifetime, because they will never have that awesome Grandfather I know he would have been to them. Something wired inside of me refuses to let life get sedimentary. Days like today, or my birthday (he passed on my 22nd birthday); I get very down because the shadow cast is much larger than me. I know this is

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 I first heard the scripture (that I remember) on a commercial that used to play during wrestling when I was a child (every commercial break). That scripture gave me hope. It let me know that all of the crap I was going through, in my childhood, that at some point I would see God and he would take it all away and I would get to rest. Yeah, I wasn’t your typical kid…somehow I could balance the knowledge of all of the kryptonites and their affect on Superman, and carry this thought process around at the same time. Not healthy, I must say… I am not here to complain or even talk about things that happened to me, or stuff I went through…that is not my point, not do I want to waste anyone’s time with that, but fast forward to March of 1992. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of God’s love, and that I was a waste of space, and I was tired of 20 years of pain and hurting. I decided (when I say decide, I mean met

Damary here: wife of Corey…..just needed to get some stuff off my chest…. I never realized how common having a miscarriage was, until it happened to me and so many people reached out to share their story. So I am having some trouble with “moving on” part people are suppose to do after something bad happens. I do not know if it is because I am putting too much pressure on myself and feel I should be a certain way and I am not there, not even close. It has been about a month since I had the miscarriage and I am still as sad (actually I think sadder) as I was when I found out it was happening. I still find myself crying at the most random moments, especially when I am alone. And worst of all I keep having the worst dreams. I fear that I am damaged and will not be able to have a third child. Than I just feel guilty and like an idiot for saying or thinking that, because I have been blessed with two successful pregnancies and daughters. There are people out there who will never have that… I

So I haven’t blogged in a while because it is hard to talk about things that leave you so raw and exposed. Maybe it is just me…it wouldn’t be the first time. My wife talked about 3Bird, and I don’t think there is much more for me to say… So the 17th is my 38th Birthday! Wow, 38….believe me, I know of at least 5 times in my life where this day was NOT guaranteed, at all. I can’t believe I have made it this far. I have a KEY rule for myself, on my birthday. Take a quiet, alone, few minutes and reflect on how my life has changed over the past 365 days. I hold myself to one rule: I should be in a better place than I was on my last birthday. Simple. I spend every morning reminding myself of that rule, knowing a birthday is coming. I firmly believe life is meant to be lived, not to just exist in. Every year, I should be improving something about myself. Hence why I say, “Keep it pushin…” Wow, what a year it has been. To say ANYTHING has been stagnant in my life would be a bold-faced lie. My

Hi Everyone…Damary here. Well it has been an extremely emotional 24 hours for me and the rest of The Queens. I know that some of you have heard part of the story and some have heard nothing and both just have questions. This is my attempt to try to answer those and to please ask each and every one of you to please have our family and 3Bird in your prayers. Now onto what happened…. Sunday night around 7pm I noticed I was having some vaginal bleeding. Being that I am only about 5 ½ weeks this was very worrisome and we quickly got the girls and headed to the ER. The first ER stated it would be SEVERAL hours before they could see me. Both Corey and I didn’t feel comfortable waiting that long and we went to a different ER. At the new ER they saw me within the hour. They took blood and performed an ultrasound. During the ultrasound the tech was not able to locate a heartbeat (which at this point we are still thinking positively because I am still so early). I go back to the room and Corey an

Well, today was my follow up with my Podiatrist, and I went into it not expecting to leave wearing two shoes:) I did explain to him about a couple of mornings of walking Jax and forgetting to put my boot on, and how it had been REALLY hurting since then. He says the Plantar Faciitis isn’t heeling that quickly, but he thinks it is attributed to the possible Heel Fracture. He did some poking and prodding (LOVED THAT…REALLY I DID….still throbbing in pain), and said it also seems like Heel Edema which is fluid buildup…which make sense because of the heel fracture. He ordered an MRI, since he said we had given it long enough for everything to heal, or really start healing. Once he gets the MRI back to see how bad the fracture is determines what happens next. He said it was no problem with my walks and my cycling and that it is fine (for those who have questioned my sanity on doing them) So I keep doing what I am doing until then. -Until the Wheels Fall Off -Corey P.S. – Have I mentioned my

Hey True Believers, Ok, at this point, I think everyone knows that Damary and I are pregnant. Quick back story...we first started talking about our timeline/plan of getting pregnant about 6 months ago. We had been trying for a couple of months. Further backstory, both Ayanna and Annabelle have had nicknames when they were in Damary's womb. Ayanna was "Peanut" (for the way she looked in the first ultra sound), and since we didn't know her gender (even after 3 Ultra sounds) we called her that the entire pregnancy. Annabelle was "Sweet Pea" and that has always stuck. Well, when we spent those months planning, for some reason Bob Marley's "3 Little Birds" kept playing in my head. Maybe it was the chorus, "Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right." that God was reminding me to put my trust in him and relax about the details. So, the nickname "3Bird" was born. Also, fitting because this is ou

*Sigh* I had my physical therapy (PT) yesterday, as usual. I get treated by two people who alternate. Well, my physical therapist yesterday, as usual, asked me, first thing, if I had been good (apparently I have a MINOR reputation of being stubborn….0k, stop smiling,, moving on, nothing to see here). Then she said, she heard that I am looking to do a marathon in May. I told her, yes, May is 9 months from now. She said, while she thinks my determination and dedication are admirable, she doesn’t think I will be ready. She thinks if the marathon is in 9 months, I would need to start fully training now (because I guess what I had been doing since April, to prepare for Nov/Dec marathons was absolutely nothing – logging 25-40 miles a week), and I won’t be ready for it. I am not sure if she means I, as a person will not be able to handle it, or I, as in my injuries (Plantar Faciitis and Hell Fracture) won’t be up to the strain. BUT THAT’S NINE MONTHS AWAY?!?!?! So in one silent swoop, she has

So Injury Update: Physical Therapy has been going well. I have even gained some range of motion back. Good News ends there: my PT says that it looks like the Plantar Faciitis may heal soon (relatively speaking), but the fractured heel is what is going to be a long term healing problem. I have already accepted the fact when I see my Podiatrist next week; I will be leaving his office STILL in this boot. I have also accepted that my what would have been my first ½ and Full Marathons (Nov and Dec, respectively), I won’t be properly healed and have my miles back up to be ready for them. I have now changed my sites for my first Marathon being the Flying Pig in Cincinnati on May 1st of 2011. The day before there are kids’ races that the girls can do, so we will have a weekend out of it! Speaking of my Super Princesses…Ayanna fractured her wrist yesterday at the after care at school. God Bless Her Heart and Her Courage. I got there just a few minutes after it happened and she was cr

Hey Everyone!! I hope you all are having a wonderful Sunday afternoon. Here is my latest video blog, taken outside on the back deck. I talk about the boot, the girls' race yesterday, and just being awfully proud. Enjoy -Until The Wheels Fall Off -Corey

Happy Saturday All!! So here is the latest video blog. It talks about the news from the Podiatrist, and my overall attitude. I hope you all are doing well, and God Bless. Thank you stopping by! -Until The Wheels Fall Off -Corey

Hey True Believers, So I am dealing with this foot pain that is kicking my a$$ physically and emotionally. Yesterday I walked on the treadmill at an incline, and it stretched out my foot and felt good. I then used a frozen water bottle and iced and rolled it under my foot. Check out the video blog below.... Thank you for stopping by and checking it out. -Until the Wheels Fall Off -Corey

Hey Everyone, Here is the newest Video Blog. I did it talking about today being my second day back from running, and how it was HUGELY different than yesterday. I have been calling my return to running, "Don't Call It A Comeback" Tour :) It motivates me. Enjoy! -Until The Wheels Fall Off -Corey

Hey Everyone, Today was my first day back to running since recovering from the stomach infection. It was also the first day I wore my hydration belt. I noticed, while looking at my heart monitor, my resting heart rate was what it normally is when I run. And my running heart rate was 100% of my max. I was feeling a little pain in my chest, but never woozy or anything. Below is my video blog about it. Enjoy :) -Until The Wheels Fall Off -Corey

Hey Everyone!! I got a suggestion from a good friend of mine, Carl, about video blogging the marathon training journey. I will be (trying) to do these once a week. No, it won't make up for my normal blog, but just something extra for those who are curious about my drive and determination. Enjoy, and comments are welcomed -Until The Wheels Fall Off -Corey

Hey Everyone, So I was doing well on my marathon training, and then I noticed a couple of Friday's ago, I was feeling extrememly hot, or extremely cold (I even cracked jokes about it on Facebook and Twitter). Then no food wanted to stay in my body. So when I was doing my daily walks at work, I felt so weak like I would pass out. I tried running once, and don't remember how I made it back home. So I just chalked it up to a stomach "Bug", if you will. I figured by the end of the week, I'd feel fine. Well, last Friday came and the "bug" turned into white hot pain. So that night I went to the Aftercare facility near us, and the doctor said I have a stomach infection (hence the pain), and gave me antibiotics. She said I should feel fine as of yesterday. She also told me not to run, until I felt 100%, not just better than I did. So I am not in nearly as much pain as I was just a few short days ago. Because I lost so much, I am still a little weak. But

So my running calendar has changed. I am still doing the Poker Run 5k at Iroquois Park on August 10th; the Moonlight Mile and 8k Run on August 21st; but now my first ½ Marathon will be the Silstone Trail ½ Marathon in November; and then my first Full Marathon 3 weeks later on December 4th at the Memphis Marathon . Yes, there are links there, if you want to check them out. I am most excited as the summer is winding to its final stretch, that all of my hard road work, my gallons of sweat, and countless hours in the gym is focused on those goals, I put on myself when I ran my first 5k in May. I full well expect that this Christmas I will be asking Santa for a quick recovery with no injury :) Since I started this, I find it funny that people who comment fall under only two categories: Ones Who Also Run (“that is a GREAT time/pace/stride/heart rate” etc; “It is so addicting, right?”) and the Ones Who Don’t (“You must be crazy”; “Why would I run that far when I have a car?” etc). For thos

Hey Everyone, I am sorry it has taken me so long to post the before and after results. My Before and After Measurements from my 6 Day Detox Drop. Date: 6/21 After: 6/27 Neck: 17.5 inches/ After: 17.5 inches Chest: 44 inches/ After: 42 inches Biceps: 14 inches/ After: 14 inches Forearms: 12 inches/ After: 10.5 inches Wrist: 7.25 inches/ After: 7 inches Waist: 44 inches/ After: 41 inches Hips: 48 inches/ After: 44 inches Thighs: 23.5 inches/ After: 23 inches Calves: 16 inches/ After: 16 inches Body Weight: 244 pounds/ After: 233 pounds Now the even weirder thing is I have gained back 3 pounds since then, but I have lost 2 more inches from my waist. Go figure. I am wearing a pair of pants from when Damary and I were dating. I am so glad I did the detox. I am using it as a metabolism jump start in a program I started right on this past Monday. The nicest part of the detox was I lost inches from the things I wanted to, but obviously I didn't lose the muscle I have been working on buildi

OK so it has been a while since I have done a blog. Mostly, with the advent of Marathon Training, I haven’t had too much on my mind that hasn ’t been pounded in the pavement with each step. That is probably the nicest side effect (yes even over the weight loss) of Marathon Training/Running on a regular basis. I usually listen to music during my runs during the week. But Saturdays are my endurance runs, and I don’t have any music, I just try and find my “compass north” mentally and focus on the world around me. Running at the crack of dawn, when there are few people, makes the world almost seem like it belongs to you, to conquer. Plus there is the less cars means less of a chance of me getting hit  I also enjoy the instant camaraderie of bicyclist and other runners out at that early time. Everyone waves, says Hi, in between breaths, and smiles. It’s like joining an instant Club, that seems to be exclusive, but all it takes is an alarm clock and some determination to join. This

In My Own Humble Opinion: Ok, so it is no secret I have many female friends and over the years of being blessed to be married to Damary, I often hear my wonderful female friends (and some of the guys) ask me why I am so determined to make my wife happy. The short answer is simple: A happy spouse means a happy home, which means a happy life. The long answer involves some more time (maybe for a blog later). But the point of this blog post is a bit more interactive. Hopefully it inspires conversations, and PLEASE feel free to add any that I many have missed. I, first handedly, admit I am not all-knowing. All of that being said: Ladies, read and cheer along. Guys, if you are doing most of these, and your woman is still complaining?? It ain’t you, it’s her  1. Do it BEFORE you talk about it. Cleaning, laundry, picking up clothes, yard work, taking the kids out for a while, etc. Don’t talk about what you are going to do before. Simply do it, UNINTIATED, and afterwards, go on about your busi

So I was reading a book and thinking more and more about my first 5K Running Race on Saturday (I have done a Muddy Buddy, which is 5K, but that has its OWN distinction….trust me). Let me mention, this just isn’t my first 5K, this is my first race…EVER!! I was a sprinter in high school and college, so I have had to re-teach myself how to run. For those that don’t know, running, as a sprinter is 180 degrees different than running as a distance runner. I still have my track shoes (spikes) from high school. I have never thrown them away. For some reason, they are inspiring to me. They remind me of that feeling I used to get during the 100 meter dash. There was this moment of pure clarity, where my entire body worked as one with my instinct; legs pushing their limit in-between heartbeats. I never heard the crowd until I crossed the finish line. I never heard anything while I was running it. No voice of doubt, no voice questioning decisions I made, no voice ridiculing me, just blessed, bliss

So during my normal insomnia, I often think about how I am raising my daughters. I then realized that I have NO CONTROL over what life hands them. The only thing I can do is provide them the skills and encouragement to handle the curve balls, pitfalls, and many unexpectedness that life will throw at them. I don't let them win all of the time because how one handle defeat is a TRUE statement of the quality of person they are. When they do win, I make sure they aren't taunting each other. I try and make sure things like "Please", "Thank you" were commonly said AND heard, from the moment they could understand. I like to laugh with them. I want them to know happiness from life itself, not from objects. I discipline them because I want them to understand right from wrong, and because I am their parent, not trying to be their friend. Like when we first dated, I open doors for my wife. Randomly give her gifts, cards, flowers, make her breakfast in bed, etc, because

Often people tell me how lucky I am to have Damary, or they tell Damary how lucky she is to have me. We both kind of laugh off those comments, because luck only played apart in our introduction (sometimes we think it was fate, but how we met is for another time lol). The rest, once we met, dated, courted, and married has been due to our hard work at making our marriage work. SAME VISION: I think the initial reason our marriage works over all (yes, like anyone, we have rough patches) is because we both want to be with each other. If only one person feels that way, it’s like being in a two person kayak and one person not paddling…you just go in a circle and never get anywhere. We both know, at the end of the day, the only place we belong is in our bed with each other. LAUGH, LAUGH AND KEEP LAUGHING: One of the coolest things about Damary and I, and any successful couple I know is the ability to laugh together, and sometimes at each other. There are times, when we lay down in bed to go to

Hey Everyone, So today was my Sleep Study Follow Up, and funny thing was I thougt I would walk in and he say I was fine, or maybe at most I had some minor snoring problems. I am not really used to getting any answers. I've had migraines forever, I never had restful sleep, I had a minor heart attack a year and a half ago, I have high blood pressure, but no one knows why and above all I have never had answers....until today. The doctor told me that my body, basically wakes itself 10 times an hour, yeah so every 6 minutes. Plus, I have obstructed sleep apnea (I completely stop breathing) 13 times a night, and have severe constricted apnea (partial to mostly) 10 an additional 10 times a night. My O2 levels drop to 86%. Normally he would just advise a patient to lose weight, and set a plan, and then follow up in a year or two years, but he doesn't think I have that long (sobering moment that hit me hard...I thought of leaving Damary, or the Super Princesses, and my heart brok

I was staring at pictures of my family (as I always do), and instead of smiling at the smiles of my Super Princesses, I was hypnotized at my wife’s face. I have always thought, and tell her every chance I get, how beautiful she is, and how sexy I find her. But something different came over me. I looked at her face in the many pictures. The closest word is appreciation, but that is like saying the sun is kind of bright. I look at my daughters, and looking past their infectious smiles, I see something else. I see well done hair styles, pretty dresses, wonderfully put together outfits, painted fingernails, toenails. I see the look they have when they are next to Damary. They love their Mami so much. And they should, she is wonderful. Yes, Damary loses her patience with the girls, but what Mom doesn’t?? The reason the girls look so put together on the outside, and are so full of love, silliness and hugs on the inside, is because of Damary’s Motherhood. I know plenty of moms who look at the

Ok, so I have pretty well documented on here and my Facebook page, some of the physical problems I've had over the past couple of years. Well, my doctor thinks my "extraordinary" sleeping habits have finally caught up to me. I can't argue, I have always known I was borrowing sleep and health against a promissory note that would have to be collected on someday. It seems lately, fate has decided to give me the receipt. So tonight I am at a Sleep Clinic, and I have about an hour until I get hooked up to the machines. When I checked in, they asked me my normal weekend bed time, and my attendant's eyes got very big when I said, usually 2-4 AM. So she compromised and said they would hook me up at 10 and I should get some sleep. Which makes sense, so I don't have to come back, and they can get the proper readings. I am not the kind of husband or father who spends time away from my family. I think most of my anxiety is that I am not with them. Part of me feels some gu

I heard a WONDERFUL story this morning, which I would like to share with you all. The fact of the matter is at some point we all go through rough times, and I hope this can bring you some inspiration for those “hot water” times. Enjoy, and let me know what you think! A young girl, who was in college, was home for her winter break. She had a very academically bad year, and had her heart broken by her boyfriend also. She felt like everything just kept going wrong. One morning, she woke up, and went to the kitchen, and her Mom was standing at the stove with three clear bowls on three burners. Then she saw three bowls on the counter, one with carrots, one with eggs, and the other with coffee beans. The Mother asked her to sit down and she said, “I know you are going through some tough times now, and you feel lost and defeated. I wanted to show you an example of something that hopefully will help you.” The daughter, being skeptical, simply said, “Fine, go ahead.” At this point, the water wa

As you may have read on either my previous blogs or Facebook, or Twitter pages, parenting is tied with the most important definition of who I am (the other would be, Damary’s Husband). So I am always on the lookout on how to be a better parent. Reading any publications I can get my hands on, listening to other parents, etc. All the while, just taking bits and pieces for what I know would not only work on the girls, it would help our relationship, and them in the future. So I was listening to a morning radio show the other day, and they had someone on the phone (completely missed the name), and he was talking about one of the things all us parents tend to do. We, in the haste of the day, tend to pass along our anxieties and stresses to our children, simply in our actions. One of the things that was talked about is he said, if you have a child who never cleans their room, and you are on them about it everyday, all of the time, odds are they will NEVER clean their room. And no, it isn’t b

So as I think I have finally found the “secret” (ok, not really a secret or short cut. Just something that works for me, finally) to getting back, and staying, in shape. This prompted my mind to wander this morning, somewhere between the 20th or 25th leg lift (or was it the 30th squat?? Oh well, I digress….can you tell today’s workout was legs?? LOL) about how does one stay motivated? Not only in beginning a new workout regimen, but as an active, positive parent, and as a spouse? I’ve often heard that any habit, good or bad, takes 30 days to develop and your body and mind to be used to it. If you exercise regularly, stop for a month and try and restart. Easier to get blood from a stone. On the flipside, if you are looking to begin a workout lifestyle, stick to your routine for at 30 days. Without even noticing, you will find it as much of your life as brushing your teeth or showering; something you simply do, but could not do without. But as parents, how do we stay motivated? I mean, l